March 15, 2011


If you are new to my blog then you won't know why this moment brings about so many raw emotions inside my aching heart.

Here's the short version My 17yr old dd died suddenly 9.22.10 she spent 3 days in the Hospital after the first couple hours it was official she was brain dead but they couldn't let her go until 3 independent tests were done on her, it's the law here in CT so I hoped, prayed never bargained and neglected a lot until they pronounced her officially 9.25.10.
The feelings, the tears, the floating, racing thoughts, all the dreams that are torn away in the moment make you feel defeated, beaten is this really happening to us? YES and now I'm left w/a GAPING hole in my soul, heart, being whatever you want to call it....
It brings me to today this morning my ds he does this thing every other day w/Charlie's pic's he'll sit on the chaise in my bedroom and he'll remember some moments and when he's done he'll always say "she no come back, mami! Lali no come back!
I'll give him a hug and tell him no she can't come back but that's why you have these pictures. So to my surprise he did this today he spread out all her pic's all over the floor and his face in this one pic was just priceless, it was a true emotion I had never seen before and it just broke my heart :| so that's why I am sharing em usually I'd put it on her Memorial Blog but not today :(

He truly remembers and misses her ohhh his poor lil heart :|
yeah he loves his mismatched pj's!!!
A new kit and page I wanted to share to lighten up the moment :/
New 3.15.11
A boy's diary collab by Dunia & Ju Kneipp Designs
A boy's diary collab by Dunia & Ju Kneipp Designs
yeah this weekend we finally got to get the bikes out and the kiddos got to ride their bikes...
Mason was beyond exstatic except b/c of the rain that washed away all of of our mountains of snow we now have mud and our yard looks trashed!


Michelle Hernandez said...

My heart just filled with this post Marnel- you write so beautifully about your experience. Huge hug from one Mommy to another. Kiss that baby for me- he's a cutie.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for stopping by my poetry blog, and yes I'm sure you can relate TOO well to my poem. My heart aches for you. I'll definitely be following your journey, if you like you can follow me back. God Bless

SGRMSE. said...

i am so sorry for your loss.

Darcy@SomewhatMuddledMusings. said...

((HUGS)) That's sweet that he still looks through the photos each and every day- that's a good thing, even though I know it breaks your momma heart.